Self-Care is Slowing Down
Self-care is not a set of actions we perform, but a relationship we nurture with ourselves.
By Carly Fleming, Registered Psychotherapist
In today’s fast-paced world, the concept of self-care has become increasingly popular, yet it’s often misunderstood. Many of us have been led to believe that self-care is about performing specific activities—taking a bubble bath, going to a yoga class, or having a spa day. While these things can certainly be nurturing, true self-care goes much deeper than that. It’s not a set of actions we perform, but a relationship we nurture with ourselves. At its core, self-care is about slowing down, listening inwardly, and responding to our needs with compassion.
We need to slow down
Our culture is obsessed with doing more, achieving more, and moving faster. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that productivity equals success, that being busy is a badge of honour. But this mindset can leave us disconnected from ourselves, rushing from one task to the next without pause. When we live this way, it's easy to lose touch with our true needs and desires and move further and further away from the life we want for ourselves.
Slowing down is the antidote to this relentless pace. It gives us the space to listen to our bodies, minds, and emotions. It allows us to ask, “What do I really need right now?” rather than operating on autopilot or doing what we think we "should" do. Slowing down creates the time and space necessary to reflect on how we’re feeling, where we might be struggling, and what would truly restore us in the moment.
When you are struggling to slow down, imagine standing on a beach listening to the waves gently lap up on the shore.
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Self-care is the antidote to “Hustle Culture”
In a culture that glorifies hustle, slowing down can feel counterintuitive or even indulgent. We’re taught to push through exhaustion, to keep going even when we’re running on empty. This mentality is the opposite of self-care. Instead of honouring our need for rest or emotional support, we often prioritize external demands over our internal well-being.
We must accept the uncomfortable reality that self-care doesn’t always look productive and our internalized sense of hustle culture will push back on many self-care choices. Sometimes self-care is resting when your to-do list is long. Sometimes it’s taking a few minutes to breathe deeply in between meetings. It’s not about checking off a list of “self-care tasks” but about checking in with yourself. Slowing down helps us break free from the pressure to always be doing something and allows us to focus on simply being with ourselves.
Self-Care is Personal and Fluid
One of the most freeing aspects of self-care is that it doesn’t need to look like anything in particular. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. What nourishes one person might not work for someone else, and that’s okay. This is where slowing down becomes so essential. When we take the time to pause, we can get clear on what we need in each moment. Some days, self-care might look like taking a long walk in nature, while on other days, it might be about setting boundaries or saying “no” to additional commitments.
Slowing down allows us to recognize that our needs change from moment to moment, day to day. What we need to feel grounded and cared for on a busy weekday might differ from what we need on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
By slowing down and tuning into ourselves, we give ourselves permission to respond to our shifting needs with flexibility and compassion.
Listening to Ourselves
Slowing down is how we cultivate an inner dialogue—one where we listen, rather than just speak or act. It’s an act of self-care in itself. We can’t know what we need if we never give ourselves the space to listen.
For many people, slowing down can feel like a luxury. Life is demanding, and for some, working hard to pay the bills and survive leaves little room for rest. The pressure to keep going is real, and self-care can often feel out of reach. But even in the midst of this grind, it’s essential to find moments—no matter how brief—to check in with yourself.
It might be as simple as taking a deep breath during a busy day, pausing to notice how you're feeling, or allowing yourself to rest for just five minutes. These small moments of self-reflection and care can help sustain your energy and capacity. Without making yourself a priority, burnout is inevitable, but by tuning in and responding to your needs, you create a foundation for not just surviving but thriving.
When we slow down, even amidst life’s demands, we can reconnect with what’s truly necessary for our well-being. This doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities—it means supporting yourself in a way that allows you to keep going with more clarity and resilience.
Responding with Compassion
Once we’ve slowed down and listened to ourselves, the next step is responding with kindness and compassion. This means honoring what we discover in those moments of quiet reflection. If we recognize that we need rest, can we give ourselves permission to rest without feeling guilty? If we realize we need more time to process our emotions, can we make space for that without judgment?
Self-care is about responding to ourselves in ways that support our well-being, even when it feels uncomfortable or goes against societal expectations. Slowing down allows us to engage in this deeper, more compassionate relationship with ourselves.
Self-care is not an activity to be checked off a list. It’s a practice of slowing down, tuning in, and responding to our inner needs with compassion. In a culture that values speed and productivity, true self-care often requires us to move in the opposite direction. By taking the time to slow down, we create the space to reconnect with ourselves and nurture a relationship of care that is fluid, responsive, and deeply personal. Let your self-care practice be less about doing and more about being—being present with yourself, listening, and honoring whatever you discover within.
Looking for some support? When you’re ready, we can help.
Cultivating a relationship with yourself and quieting the internalized voice of hustle culture can be incredibly challenging. Having a supportive therapist who is mindfully on their own journey of self-care can help. Reach out and book a free 30-minute consultation as a step towards a new relationship with yourself that is built on trust and personal responsibility. We’re here to listen and we can match you with a therapist who can support you on your journey, wherever it takes you.