Internal Family System (IFS) – What is “parts work” in therapy?
By David McCallum, Registered Social Worker
You may already refer to different aspects of yourself as “parts” (for example, “A part of me feels I should do this but another part of me feels I should do that”). This is a natural way to refer to our inner worlds and it is one that a model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) employs as a means of fostering healing and freedom.
IFS identifies that we are all made up of parts. There is a complex system of beliefs, thoughts, emotions and physical feelings that exist inside all of us, and they persistently compete for our attention.
All parts are shaped by external forces, and they in turn influence the way we navigate, or cope with, our outer worlds. The origins of most of these parts can be traced back to childhood, and we may come to view them, as Richard Schwartz does, like an ‘inner orphanage’. Like children, when some of these parts are cued they may make themselves known in loud and obvious ways. Other parts may choose to react by retreating and shutting down in an effort to protect from further harm. Culver explains that these responses are meant to help us survive. In either case, we are faced with this reality: parts are here to stay, and we have the opportunity to welcome them with the compassion that they so need.
Can you think of a time when you longed for a deeper sense of connection with yourself or with others? What was happening for you, on the inside? What parts were speaking up? They may have said something like: “I want to feel seen“ or “I want to feel loved” or “I want someone to care for me.” Perhaps you can take a moment to extend some compassion to those parts, by thanking them for showing up and doing their best to protect you from pain.
Two fundamental needs of human beings are authenticity (connection with one’s Core Self) and attachment (connection with trusted others) (As described by Gabor Maté).
If either one of these needs is compromised, the parts within our systems experience distress and will go to great lengths to try avoid the pain of disconnection (e.g. distracting through the use of substances, screens, relationships, shopping, etc.) Perhaps the most crucial time in life when we need connection is when we experience trauma and grief. Much research has been conducted on the impact of trauma and grief on the health and wellbeing of human beings. Two crucial areas that are often compromised are connection with our Core Self (authenticity) and connection with trusted others (attachment). In this way, Van der Kolk explains that grief and trauma interrupt the plotline of our lives. As described by Sollenberger, it’s as if the portal has closed to what we considered to be our “normal life” and a profound sense of loss looms in the darkness . Parts can feel trapped, numb, adrift, overwhelmed, and isolated. In short, disconnected from Self and others.
The goal of IFS is to enable access, and deepen connection with our Self.
Frank Anderson describes the Self as, “…our core, our essence, our internal compass that possesses inherent wisdom and healing capacity.” Once we are in relationship with our Self, we can extend compassion and curiosity to the wounded parts of our internal system that are in need of healing. In short, the Self acts as their nurturing caregiver. As parts experience the restorative power of true connection they begin to channel their energy into working in harmony with each other. This is the hope that guides IFS practice: that parts will learn that they do not have to try harder to be worthy of love they so need.
Looking for some support?
We’re here to help. We have a number of therapists on our team with training and experience in IFS. If parts work speaks to you and you’d like to explore it further, we make it really easy to be connected to a therapist. Simply book a free 30 minute consultation and let’s talk about it.