Trauma is an Emotional Injury that Can Be Healed
By Emma Griffiths
Registered Social Worker
Trauma as defined by the dictionary is ‘a deeply distressing or disturbing experience’.
And that ‘experience’ can be a single event or occurrence that leaves an impression on us. Or, it can be the thoughts acquired and emotions felt by these experience(s) over a period of time. When you put ‘trauma’ in the context of ‘experience’ it is easy to see why and how traumatic events can be difficult to define because the same event may be more traumatic for some people than others.
We’re talking to Registered Social Worker, Emma Griffiths, to get her perspective on what trauma is and how those suffering from trauma can start a path towards recovery through therapy.
Q: What is trauma? What are the different kinds of trauma that people experience?
I would say that trauma is an emotional injury. Just like a deep cut or a bad burn needs care to heal, so does emotional trauma. And it's not just big traumas that need care - small ones do too. And just like physical traumas or injuries, emotional traumas get hurt when poked or bumped, and just like physical traumas they can bring up all kinds of different feelings when they are hurting. If traumas are left uncared for, they can get "infected" with maladaptive or harmful strategies. Any negative experience can cause trauma, if it leaves an emotional injury that doesn't heal itself.
A broken arm is considered healed after about six weeks, but lots of people still have pain or discomfort years later because of that injury. Our brains do this too, and while a specific incident might quickly heal and be forgotten by one person, the exact same thing can cause lifelong struggles for someone else.
By: Callie Gibson on Unsplash
Q: How can trauma impact individuals' mental health? Their relationships? Their sense of self?
Trauma can impact every aspect of a person's life. Our bodies and minds try to find ways to protect us - sometimes you dissociate, because if you can't feel then it can't hurt. Sometimes you fear intimacy, because if you let someone get close to you, they might hurt you. You might feel like you need to protect and take care of everyone else, in order to prove your worth so others don't want to hurt you. Our bodies and minds are very good at finding ways to protect us, but not very good at knowing when the danger is gone, so those things that it uses to protect us from the danger keep going, long after the danger or trauma has passed.
You might feel anxiety, depression, grief, feelings of guilt, issues with memory, or even an altered sense of reality. Many people will have difficulty forming new relationships or maintaining existing ones, they might push loved ones away or fear abandonment. It can be very hard to trust others and to trust ourselves when we have experienced trauma. It is common to lash out at others, to hide feelings entirely, or a combination of these. Our closest relationship is with ourselves and trauma can complicate that as well. Someone who has experienced trauma might be unsettled by their responses to others, they may question their faith or their understanding of the universe, or need distance from who they were when the trauma occurred.
Q: How can therapy help someone who has experienced trauma?
Therapy can help our bodies and minds recognize when we're safe and learn to trust that safety. We can learn about the ways our minds are trying to protect us, and within the safety of a therapeutic relationship, we can explore the traumatic incident and try to find meaning, or a way to acknowledge our trauma and release ourselves from the hold it can have on us. Therapy can help us heal the emotional wound, and it can also help us with the symptoms of trauma, like helping us to learn to trust, repair and maintain relationships, and feel safe again. We can try to teach ourselves to let go, or use our defense mechanisms in a way that suits the life we want and the present dangers, rather than the dangers in the past. For some people, therapy might be the first or only place they feel like they can talk about what happened to them, or the only place where they won't be blamed or have their experiences dismissed or ignored. Being heard, believed, and accepted can be incredibly powerful for healing.
" Being heard, believed, and accepted can be incredibly powerful for healing. "
Q: What clients in particular do you work with? What specific populations (re: trauma)?
I work with anyone who has experienced trauma, but I tend to work with people who have experienced traumatic relationships with others. I work a lot with people who have experienced abusive or toxic relationships or violence, whether that's in the context of a friendship, romantic relationship, or family of origin. I work with people who have lived through an ongoing pattern of trauma, or people who have experienced an isolated traumatic incident.
Q: What are your therapeutic approaches to working with trauma? What can a potential client expect when working with you? How do you reassure clients who may be hesitant to seek out therapy for trauma? Is virtual therapy suitable for working with clients regarding trauma?
When I'm working with trauma, I always let the client lead the way. I'll never push, or force you to talk about the traumatic details before you're ready. I have some clients who never tell me about the details of their trauma, and we just work on the symptoms of it and how it shows up in their lives today. Other clients find it really useful to walk through the details of what happened to them. We usually spend the first few sessions getting to know each other, building a relationship and developing trust. When we first start talking, I am a stranger to you - I would never expect you to share the most painful experiences of your life with a total stranger. Once there is a sense of trust, we can start to unpack the traumatic experiences. We can talk about what happened, we can talk about how you feel or felt about what happened, we can talk about what you want your life to look like once this trauma isn't impacting you so deeply anymore. It can also be a safe place to feel and express anger, which is something a lot of people don't have in their day to day lives.
People cope with trauma in all kinds of different ways, and it's not my job to tell anyone they are doing it "wrong" - I practice harm reduction, which means that whatever coping strategy you use, I want to help you find ways to do it as safely as possible, without shaming, blaming, or judging you for doing it.
Virtual therapy is absolutely suitable for trauma! It can sometimes feel a little daunting at first, but there are a lot of benefits - you can stay in a place that feels safe and cozy, you don't have to go anywhere, and it's easy to get me out of your space when our session is over. Depending on what you're going through, we might have specific things we need to put in place - for example, when doing EMDR I need to be able to see you, but overall I have found that we can create safety and trust just as well virtually as we can in the same physical space.
Another type of therapy I do is called EMDR - this stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. The idea behind this is that typically, as we go through life, we "digest" or process our experiences and integrate them into our understanding of the world. However, there are some experiences that for whatever reason, we can't digest, and they get stuck. These stuck experiences are traumas. When we go through something that reminds us of that stuck experience, our brain brings us right back to that trauma and reminds us of all the fears, thoughts, and feelings we had at that time. EMDR uses a process called bilateral stimulation, where you use eye movements, audio patterns, or tactile rhythms, while you reflect on a traumatic memory, and the combination of these things helps your brain to digest those stuck experiences and turn them from an upsetting, triggering memory, to something that you can remember happening but that doesn't cause you distress anymore. We have theories about why this works but we still don't fully know the science behind it, however there is a lot of research into EMDR and it holds up as a very effective method for processing trauma. Going through EMDR can be a difficult process, and it's important to have emotional support in your life while we do this work.
Working on trauma in therapy can be really painful, and sometimes the work we do in our sessions can leak out into your life. After we finish our sessions, your brain keeps processing and churning through the work we've done, which means that sometimes in between sessions you might experience more intense emotions or other symptoms of your trauma, like flashbacks or intrusive thoughts. I'm available and you can reach out to me if you're finding this too overwhelming, and we can work on finding ways to keep yourself grounded and safe in between our sessions.
If you're hesitant to seek out therapy for trauma, that's okay.
It can be scary. I remind my clients that they are in charge - we can always slow down, back up, stop talking about something upsetting. We can spend our entire session finding ways to self-soothe and take care of ourselves. There's no template for what a session looks like - some clients just sit and cry for the entire hour, because this is the only safe place they have to do that. If you want me to, I can guide this process and steer us towards unpacking and resolving the pain that's there, but I'll never push you, and I'll always believe you and respect your limits and boundaries.
How we can help
Trauma doesn’t have to be a life sentence.
Our experienced trauma counsellors are here to help you navigate major life challenges and develop new patterns of coping - teaching you skills that are vital to healing, restoring and maintaining your mental health. If you would like to know more about whether trauma counselling at everwell is right for you, book a free 30 minute consultation and we can talk about it. Learn more about Trauma Counselling here.