Guide to Loss and Grief

That feeling you’re feeling is grief.

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You’re grieving your life ‘before’ covid.

Grief is a normal process of reacting to a loss.

That loss may be physical (such as death), social (such as divorce), or occupational (such as a job). But the pandemic has turned our lives upside down over the past year. Most areas of our lives have changed dramatically, from our work, to school and our social lives. With all of these changes, it is not uncommon to experience higher than normal feelings of anxiety, irritability and sadness.

But, is that grief?

When you hear the word grief, you often think of the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship, but with the coronavirus, we are experiencing grief due to the loss of our ‘regular’ lives - our lives ‘before’ the pandemic. We are experiencing the loss of our routines, our schedules, our relationships, our sense of security and safety.

Some people are hesitant to label their feelings as grief given that so many people have contracted and died from the virus, but it is important to recognize that although your loss may be different from others, it is still significant. Your loss matters. It is okay to grieve what you have lost.

Give yourself permission to think about what you have lost since the pandemic began. Perhaps it was missing important milestones or celebrations, like graduations, anniversaries or birthdays. Perhaps it was having to cancel vacations, trips or other plans. Perhaps it’s missing out on moments with family, friends, colleagues and even strangers. Perhaps it’s the inability to interact socially by smiling, making small talk, giving handshakes or sharing hugs. Most likely, it is the loss of your regular routine - commuting, getting coffee, eating out for lunch, girls’ night, date night, etc., etc. - how you spend your time and who you spend your time with. Most definitely, it’s not being able to look forward, to dream, to plan, to do anything with certainty because ‘everything’ right now is uncertain. It’s frustrating and it’s scary.

It’s okay if you want to cry. You’re not the one who feels this way.

It’s important to take care of yourself

The mind and the body are connected.

To get you through this difficult time, you will have to look after your physical and emotional needs. When you feel physically healthy, you are better able to combat stress and fatigue and cope emotionally. It’s important to get enough sleep, eat well and exercise - and not use alcohol or drugs to lift your mood or numb your pain. That’s because, although grief is an emotional process, the stress of a loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves and can involve physical symptoms

Unresolved grief can lead to complications.

Grief can often cause withdrawing from others and retreating into yourself, but over the long run, hiding or avoiding feelings of sadness and distress can lead to more serious emotional suffering. In order to heal, the pain must be acknowledged. If not addressed, grief can develop into more serious and complicated problems including:

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Substance abuse

• Extreme anger or bitterness

• Feeling that life is empty or meaningless

Your grief is your own

Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment and let no one else tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” It’s okay to be angry, to yell, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and hope. But most importantly, remember that it’s okay to not be okay.

Navigate Guide

Guide to Loss and Grief
What is grief?
That feeling you’re feeling is grief
Expressing your emotions
Time does not heal all wounds
Supporting a grieving person
Counselling for loss and grief

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