Reimagining financial stress during the holiday season
December doesn’t have to mean financial pressure
December 15, 2025
By Aviva Boxer, Registered Psychotherapist
When you add the words “money” and “December” together, does the combination equal instant panic? For many people, the holiday season triggers financial anxiety, overspending, and a sense of pressure to meet expectations. December is filled with office parties, family gatherings, kids’ recitals, and special events — and so much of it is tied to holiday spending and extra costs. There are gifts to buy, charities asking for support, outfits to purchase for events, and sometimes travel expenses to visit family or bring university students home. It all adds up quickly, often more quickly than we expect.
“During December, we’re bombarded with messages to spend in order to show love”
During December, we’re bombarded with messages to buy now, pay later, to take advantage of “can’t-miss” deals, and to spend in order to show love. As a result, many people take on debt during the holidays — debt that follows them into the new year and adds to long-term financial stress. According to Statistics Canada 2024/2025 data, Canadians regularly take on extra debt in December, and it can take months to recover. The pattern repeats every year, leaving many people emotionally and financially overwhelmed.
But what if we approached holiday spending differently? What if gift-giving and celebration didn’t require sacrificing your financial wellness or abandoning your own needs? And if you’ve already completed this year’s shopping, how might you begin planning for a more aligned and stress-free December next year — one rooted in peace, joy, and intention rather than exhaustion and overspending?
Start with your emotions: What you feel vs. what you want to feel
Before you can change your spending habits, you need to understand the emotions driving them. Identifying the difference between how you’re currently feeling and how you want to feel can completely shift your approach to holiday money management.
For example:
I am feeling overwhelmed by how much I’m spending. I feel sick thinking about my credit card bill, but I can’t stop because people expect me to give gifts the way I always have. I have a pit in my stomach, I’m anxious, and I’m not sleeping because I’m worried about money.
Current feelings: stress, pressure, guilt, avoidance, discomfort, overwhelm
Desired feelings: peace, enjoyment, financial control, aligned boundaries, giving within your means
Visualization can be a powerful tool here. By imagining both scenarios — the one where you overspend and the one where you honour your boundaries — you can feel the emotional contrast and choose the path that supports your financial health.
A reframed version might look like:
I’m grateful I noticed the panic rising in my body. I paused, breathed, and honoured my spending boundaries. The people who love me want me to feel calm and happy — they don’t need me to overspend to prove anything. I gave within my means, and I’m proud of myself for choosing a path that feels aligned and authentic.
Visualization helps you embody what it feels like to honour your financial boundaries, reminding you that giving is not about the dollar amount — it’s about presence, intention, and emotional connection.
A note on discomfort: choosing the right kind
The idea of telling friends or family that you’re spending less this year may feel uncomfortable. But the discomfort of self-abandonment — overspending, debt, fear, and financial shame — is also painful and often far more familiar.
Setting boundaries feels challenging at first because it disrupts old patterns. But caring for your emotional needs and your money habits are deeply connected. When you honour your internal cues, you create financial stability and emotional peace.
5 signs you’re self-abandoning with your money
Here are five key indicators gathered by ChatGPT, that your holiday spending (or your financial habits in general) may be rooted in self-abandonment:
1. You avoid looking at your finances because it feels overwhelming.
If checking your balance, opening bills, or reviewing your spending causes anxiety or shame — and you cope by ignoring it — this is emotional avoidance, not self-support.
2. You put others’ financial needs ahead of your own.
If you frequently cover costs, give money, or buy gifts to keep the peace while sacrificing your own stability, you may be prioritizing others at your own expense.
3. You silence your financial goals to avoid disappointing others.
When you downplay your desire to save, budget, or spend intentionally just to avoid judgment, you disconnect from your long-term wellbeing.
4. You make financial decisions from guilt, pressure, or people-pleasing.
If your choices are driven by emotional obligation rather than alignment, your financial life reflects other people’s expectations—not your values.
5. You ignore your intuition even when something feels “off.”
When you override your inner voice about spending, boundaries, or money dynamics, you reinforce cycles of self-abandonment.
The holiday season can stir up deep emotions around money, boundaries, and belonging, especially when cultural and family expectations collide with your financial reality. But you deserve a December rooted in clarity and calm, not holiday stress or money anxiety. By pausing, tuning into your body, and honouring your financial boundaries, you create a more peaceful, aligned, and empowering holiday experience.
When you choose mindful spending and intentional giving, you strengthen your relationship with yourself and break cycles of overspending and guilt. You can rewrite your financial story — one thoughtful choice at a time — and build a holiday season that feels like it truly belongs to you.
Dealing with debt and overspending can feel hard and even scary. If you want to talk through your feelings about money - the good, the bad and the ugly - we are here to help! Connect with us and we will match you with a therapist who truly cares and will help to create a safe space for you to open up, share and heal.