September Stress?
By Carly Fleming, M.Ed. RP
Registered Psychotherapist
What if September is your blank canvas, not your black hole?
For most of my adult life, September has represented the end of fun, the return to stress and obligations, and a general sense of doom. It has happened on repeat for many, many summers. But this year I’m doing something differently. Instead of treating September like a dreaded black hole, I’ve been looking at it like a blank canvas. We are all artists. We are all creative. And the best way to make our mark is through the choices we make each and every day. This September, I’m bringing colour and light to this month of transitions. Part of the reason for writing this blog post is to share this re-frame with you but part of it is to hold myself accountable. By putting this down in words, I hope to get to the end of this month with a sense of pride, peace and ease.
Want to join me?
Reflect
I’m starting by reflecting.
“What is it about summer that I am always trying so hard to hold on to?”
This is the journal question that I started with. I’ll spare you all the details but the answer to this comes down to simply slowing down. When I look at all the things that I love about summer, they centre around taking my time, sitting quietly, lingering in moments in nature and with my family. The revelation here is that I can do this all year! I just have to make it happen. These are the simple things in life that are accessible to me no matter what the season. After this big revelation I followed up with this journal question: “What about September makes me want to cringe and fills me with stress?” There are so many things that I find tough about September but the major themes here are over-scheduling and loss of control.
Action Plan
After I reflected on my relationship with September, I realized that I need an action plan. If I hope to change some very long-standing patterns, I need to figure out how to do it! In some ways, you could say that an action plan isn’t really in line with the creativity and ease that I’m hoping to bring into this month. But the reality is that artists need to prepare – they prepare their paints, learn their lines, create prototypes and drafts. These are my inspirations for my action plan. And I hope that this plan will give me back the sense of control that I often lose in September.
I’ve created a daily list of the things I must do in order to hold on to creativity and ease. For me, these things are journaling, eating healthy and exercising. Once I knew that these would be in place every day, I was able to create a specific plan.
This plan includes clear communication with members of my household, saying no to social plans until October, no new activities on weekends, pursuing a new creative project throughout the month, and making time to linger with people I love every day. I’m going to try so hard to avoid the typical over-scheduling by staying true to this plan. My hope is that this plan will allow me to hold on to the ease of summer throughout the fall and will prevent me from spiraling into the stress of the usual September black hole. Just thinking about this plan fills me with hope and joy.
Accountability
I know all too well that without accountability, reflections and action-plans can quickly fade away.
I have 3 ways that I am creating accountability this month: monitoring my self-talk, asking my family for help, and writing this blog.
I know that my self-talk often holds on to long-standing narratives, even when these narratives no longer serve me. So I am on the lookout for self-talk that sounds like “September is so stressful, I can’t wait until it’s over”, “I just need to get through this month” or “If only I could go back to the beginning of summer”.
When I hear myself saying these things, I’m going to meet these statements with my mantra of “September is my blank canvas. What do I want to create?”. I’m also asking my family for help. They are completely behind my action plan and I’ve asked them to communicate with me if they see me straying too far from my plan.
And lastly, dear reader, I am now accountable to you. By sharing this process with you, I believe it will help me stay true to myself and my plan. Knowing that it may even help spark a September re-frame for you makes it all the more meaningful.
Looking for some support?
If you’d like to start holding yourself accountable and define an action plan for you, we’re here to help. Our trained therapists are ready to have the tough conversations and help you recognize and express what’s not working for you.
When you’re ready, we can help.
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