Overnight, our homes became our offices, classrooms, playgrounds, spas, restaurants, movie theatres and whatever other function you had to fashion out of four walls. It’s now April 2022 and along with the flowers, new hope is budding. We are emerging from a 2-year hibernation, and we finally seem to have the space to look around and reassess our spaces.
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This month, we have decided to highlight the courageous acts and people from various parts of the world where people are being forced to face fear, terror and violence on a daily basis. We want to share their words and experiences. They are the experts and we are honoured to move the spotlight of our blog onto these folks, however small that spotlight might be.
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Exhaustion, body changes, pregnancy fears, interruptions from baby, and feeling touched out could all serve to activate the inhibitory sexual response system that just says “No way, I can’t get there right now.”
This is especially true when babies are very small or are high-needs and they require so much from their primary caregivers.
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We’d like to introduce you to the concept of sexual brakes and accelerators. We were introduced to this concept in Emily Nagoski’s incredible book Come As You Are (which we highly recommend). The concept is very simple – there are things that act as accelerators of our desire and other things that act as brakes. The “things” can be sights, sounds, ideas, memories, sensations, etc. Most people have a general sense that there are certain things that turn them on sexually and others that turn them off. But rarely do we stop to deeply consider how we can use the concepts of sexual brakes and accelerators to enhance our sexual experiences.
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What I have noticed is: 1) people seek therapy for many different challenges like stress management, trauma processing, relationships issues, gender exploration and thousands of other unique reasons; and 2) there are some common themes that emerge around why someone has taken the step to actually seek assistance from a mental health professional.
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What I have noticed is: 1) people seek therapy for many different challenges like stress management, trauma processing, relationships issues, gender exploration and thousands of other unique reasons; and 2) there are some common themes that emerge around why someone has taken the step to actually seek assistance from a mental health professional.
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Spark some JOY
As another tough year approaches it’s end, we wanted to use this platform to make room for JOY.
That’s why we asked the everwell team on their perspectives and experiences with JOY; what it is and how to find it.
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“Window of tolerance” refers to a zone of 'arousal' or stimulation in which people are able to function and thrive in everyday life.
In this blog post we’d like to use this concept to help you develop some awareness of the cues that your body and mind may be sending you when you are outside of your window of tolerance.
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Stress is a reality for all of us. There is no way to get through life without dealing with stress.
On the one hand, it is helpful to approach stress with acceptance in order to live with as much ease as possible. On the other hand, when dealing with large amounts of constant stress, it is important to realize that it doesn’t always have to be this way.
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This month at everwell we’ve been focusing on challenging the societal narratives that uphold ‘Grind Culture’. There are many narratives that are common in our culture that prioritize productivity, achievement, and busy-ness over rest, self-care and groundedness. We are all carrying these narratives with us in some form or another. But even when we begin to challenge these narratives, many of us run into resistance to the idea of rest and the actions needed to step out of the ‘grind’ we are so used to. So let’s take a look at this resistance and how it might be showing up for you.
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As a psychotherapist I know too well the negative effects of prioritizing productivity over all else. Heck, as a human I know the negative effects of this and how it shows up in my own life. Although life has technically slowed down for some during this time –for many it hasn’t and for most of us it has meant a much more disorganized and hectic day to day. And yet, the pressures we continue to put on ourselves to be productive are alive and well.
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Longing for the things the way they used to be? Find yourself wishfully thinking that you might wake up tomorrow and things will be “back to normal”, even though you are completely aware that’s impossible? Yearning for the physical touch of a loved one that you haven’t been able to hold for far too long? Ever catch yourself engrossed in something and completely forgetting about how different life is for just for a few seconds? Is there that heaviness in your chest or that knot in your stomach that never seems to go away? All of this is grief.
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We’re all struggling to keep things as ‘normal’ as possible for our kids. But, how can we protect them through this crisis when there are things completely outside of our control? Dealing with uncertainty during this pandemic is challenging for most adults, never mind kids. But, there is a way to help our kids build resiliency during this time.
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The good news is there’s a HUGE difference between social distancing and physical distancing. As someone who has worked from home for the last year, I’ve somewhat had to adapt myself to social distancing. The current situation has amplified this two-fold and I’ve realized that there are many things I could have been doing for the last year that would have helped me feel not so isolated. Here are some my tips…
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2020 marks The Canadian Mental Health Association’s 69th annual Mental Health Week. Mental Health Week helps to shift societal beliefs and perceptions about mental health. It helps promote behaviours and attitudes that foster well-being, support good mental health and create a culture of understanding and acceptance. The theme of this year’s Mental Health Week, May 4-10, 2020 is ‘social connection’ and its importance for mental health.
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It has been about three weeks now since the world has been put ‘on hold’. We’ve all been told to wash our hands, practice physical distancing while being socially connected, and self-isolate. We’re all doing our part for the sake of our physical health and to help ‘manage’ the COVID-19 virus but it’s hard and it feels scary to not know what’s coming next. Having to live through a global pandemic is something none of us has ever experienced or could have imagined.
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Stress is present almost everywhere we look – at our dinner tables, in our workplaces, in our neighborhoods, in our extended families. There are so many unknowns and uncertainties and everyone is struggling to manage in their own way. Children and adults alike are struggling to manage the emotional and practical impact of the worldwide COVID-19 crisis. But there seem to be some key differences in the way that children and adults are coping. I’ve been paying close attention to the way my kids are dealing with our current situation and I’d like to share some of my observations with you.
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Now, having developed a weird sleep schedule, new and rather creative eating habits and a completely upside-down daily routine, I find myself reflecting more and more on the unique challenges helpers face during times where we all, in some way or another, are struggling with the ominous ambiguity of the current state of the world.
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It was just before March break when life as I knew it changed forever. I am fortunate enough not to have lost anyone to the virus and I am not a front line health care worker, or someone who has to juggle raising young children while working from home. I am just one person with an experience to share that I hope brings some measure of comfort to those who might be going through similar things.
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How are you doing? We are all going through so much together in the midst of this global pandemic and yet we need to remember that we are all individuals with different needs, different struggles and different sore spots. Your relationship with YOU is how you’ll get through this.
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